Tuesday, April 30, 2013

Discussion on Jealousy

Greetings devoted Shine and Sparkle Report Readers (and new readers too!)

I thought it was time for another introspective post.  The subject is jealousy*.  The green eyed monster.  A deadly sin.  The creator of haters and a cause of low self esteem.   I think that the global society formed through ease of transportation and fueled by the fires of the internet, is a great thing.  We can share beauty tips, life milestones, and food we just ate in nanoseconds.   But as a result, people are getting a skewed view of what life should be like.  This can have potentially damaging consequences to peoples’ mental health.  This is why I thought it was worth a post to my lovely readers.  Understanding jealously can help reduce it, and make everyone happier! HOORAY!

Hey! I actually have a source for my post picture!  It is "Jealousy" by 7Roses1BrokenHeart. If she/he wants me to remove the picture from my blog, don't hesitate to ask.  I think it's a perfect picture for this post =)

What is Jealousy?
Also known as envy, a good way to describe jealousy (thanks thefreedictionary.com) is “a feeling of grudging admiration and desire to have something that is possessed by another.”  In simpler terms, jealousy is feeling negatively about wanting what someone else has.

What are some causes of Jealousy?
While jealousy is as individual as the person feeling it, there are several types of jealousy I have been noticing recently of other peoples:

-personal relationships
-physical appearance
-material items

We want what others have in these areas.  It doesn’t have to be people you know personally we can be jealous of completed strangers.  We can be jealous of people online.  We can be jealous of celebrities, people in magazines/advertisements, and even fictional characters.
Side note: Trashy reality shows tend to do very well when it shows celebrities who “have everything” reveal that weaknesses/problems worse than our own.  This is because it makes us not feel jealous of what they have.  Interesting right? *coughkardashianscough*

What feelings result from Jealousy?
Most often, feeling jealous leads to either
1) feeling negatively, even depressed about oneself for “not measuring up”;
2) projecting jealous as “hate” towards the source of jealousy.

How can we over come Jealousy so we can Shine and Sparkle?
These tips are things that have kept me from focusing too much on things that many people find to be major causes of jealousy.  Hopefully, they can help you too!

-Nobody is perfect:  As in my reality show example, nobody is perfect.  If you see someone who has something you want, just know that it doesn’t mean that their life is any better or valid than yours.  “Be proud of your accomplishments no matter how small, and learn from your mistakes.” 

-Count Your Blessings:  Rather than focusing on what I don’t have (and as the media proves, there is ALWAYS more to be had), I focus on what I do have.  Whether it is family, health, friends or guinea pig, take a moment to appreciate them.  Rather than thinking about how you wish you had different physical features, think about what you do really like your nails, hair, eyes, sense of fashion, whatever it is, take a minute to love that about yourself.  Though we can always have more stuff, think of that one item that you just couldn’t live without and cherish it.  Now here’s the kicker—somebody else is jealous of all the things you just thought of.  “Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, today is a gift.”

-We Are All Different and that is Okay:  One thing about the global media, is it tries to tell us there is a right way to live our lives.  It tries to tell us what an ideal life is like.  It tries to tell us what is beautiful and what is not.  It tries to sell us things to achieve this image that they set in front of us.  In reality, THERE IS NO RIGHT WAY to do things (you know, minus hurting others or yourself).  Follow your heart, pave your own way, and celebrate your individuality.  People might look at you funny, people might judge you.   Those people are not really worth knowing.  “Your friends are the people who know everything about you, and love you anyway.” 

-Beauty is a Canvas, not a Requirement:  This being a beauty blog, you might think that I am another person who is trying to tell you the “right” way to do things.  Instead I see it as giving suggestions and sharing my experiences that you may find helpful or not.  Take everything others tell you  and run it through a “does this work for me” filter.  That filter will serve you well.  I see make-up, fashion, and beauty as a canvas for expressing myself.  It is not so much a way to fit in or be accepted as it is a way to make the outside express the way I feel on the inside.  Looking the way I want brings me happiness, as however you decide to look should make you happy as well. 

So these are just some thoughts on jealousy that I have had recently.  Jealousy is toxic and not conducive to being happy.  I want all my readers to be happy! Hopefully this post was helpful for you to….

Shine & Sparkle!

* I do not claim to be a professional in this subject and if you are having feelings of depression, suicide, or violence towards others I seriously suggest speaking with a trained professional psychologist.  I did major in psychology which is why I find the subject interesting, but I also focused on animal behavior...so if you want to know how squirrels remember where they hid their nuts for the winter, comment below or something.  Otherwise, leave serious things to the pros.

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